your heart is in my pocket and there's a light inside my hand

7:30 p.m. x 2009-06-04

currently listening to: "ten miles wide" by the builders and the butchers

exhausted. packed! and much more ready for my final to be over than to take it in the first place. i am going to sit and make myself figure out how to calculate variance before mark comes over to watch "the great dictator".

on the subject: last night, there was no stopping. it was completely, heatedly unavoidable and - GOD - every time i thought about it today i melted more than usual, thinking about him. it was an important expression. we talked about it afterwards because we're still both, for our own reasons, anxious about sex. still i grapple with how to not have it again tonight.

honestly, i have more resolve than that. campus security is in the basement of this very building. if he's too proud to stop down there and take a condom from their little service counter, i'm not. i'd like to enjoy physical intimacy with mark to its fullest without spending my free time otherwise feeling like i have the great god pan jigging on my chest.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11