loses herself in her dreaming and sleep

5:58 a.m. x 2009-06-26

currently listening to: "pretty in pink" by the dresden dolls

my thinking is along these lines: i checked my calendar and was excited to see this is the end of the last full week of june, which really blustered by. july is the last full month. i am back in williamsport in august. in august i will a) have a job waiting for me, b) be a mere two hours from mark, c) not be home but at school. when i am at school my parents are so much nicer to me. i'm not around them. i eat consistently and don't get scared about getting food. i can do things myself. i can get places myself. it will be easier than ever, working for the poetry professor. i can't wait.

only another month plus a few weeks in august. and more recently than that, mark again. it won't be long. i didn't sleep tonight because akasha spent the night and i let her have my bed. i was supposed to go to new jersey to see my aunt my mother decided not to go. just now. i will be very heartbroken when i wake up. right now - this happens so much when i am home - i am manageable and placid and not feeling staggeringly worked-up about anything. this happens when i'm moving around at 7 in the morning. i am very out of synch with my good hours when at home. all the more reason to get out and get elsewhere. immediately.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11