5:16 p.m. x 2009-08-19

currently listening to: "i'll fly away" by the kossoy sisters

sleep back in order, i should think. i passed out at seven and my mom woke me up around eleven this afternoon to go to the bank and reopen my checking account. i dragged everything up from the basement. i have been disoriented and sluggish all day and like i will probably fall asleep at seven again. tomorrow at seven i have to be on the bus. i hope i don't fall asleep. maybe i will nap on the bus and set my alarm.

kara's coming over later but before that i am tempted to read anna karenina and accidentally nap.

i got the shelving unit from my sister! i'm so excited! i am going to keep books on it but that would really require bookends, which i do not possess. anything sturdy enough could do but the shelves aren't big. i will probably just stack them so i can see them from my desk. i am grateful to have an understanding of my room all ready.

it's been storming audibly for the better part of two days.

i am thinking about school. i have everythingish worked out with my work study with dr. poetry (he has a very gorgeous [real] name and when my mom called the school about a question she had she took the opportunity to say his entire name because it's so wonderful to say). if i must take a moment post-undergrad to accumulate cash and do something real-life-difficult i will do that. i WANT to go to grad school. i WANT my mfa. but if i can better achieve that by taking time first to become an ideal applicant, that is what i should do. i probably don't seem like an ideal applicant right now, but it is really just a matter of convincing whoever the vital "them" happen to be.

melody episode over. i said something she took wildly the wrong way and said something back that she meant to be very catty and devastating but did not bother me - she cannot step outside of herself and it is a comment that, if i said directed at her, would wound her deeply. it took me a few minutes to figure it out, and she's since persisted in sending me several messages, but it would be better if it just stopped. we are not each other's friend.

i had no idea the GREs have been in existence since the 1940s. i assumed they were new - not like i ever needed to be aware of them before going to college, but i was aware of the SATs all my life, considerably before ever having to take them.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)