i need and don't want to need

9:23 p.m. x 2010-02-26

currently listening to: "lie in the sound" by trespassers william

home. rest/panic. reading for class. looking for jobs. i didn't quite break down after the ride (we took scott with us since the bus station at school shut down, and we pass the train station which was where he needed to go - my mom was so into it; she bought him a sandwich) - i got really upset as soon as i was alone. i don't like how much help i need. i am so nervous being home. but both my parents are being very supportive.

i didn't have class today, so i slept. i fell asleep around seven yesterday evening and stayed in bed until after noon today. yesterday i didn't even want to go to painting. a visiting artist came and her work was miraculous. she critiqued our paintings and was not impressed with mine (which, if i had her skills, i would not be either!) but my obscure object rushed to my collage (the assignment is to paint from a self-assembled collage) and began to rave about my design sense, my use of color, how much he loves what i'm doing - he was defensive!

i find him so interesting.

i am continuously surprised with how exhausted i am.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11