your head caught in a waking dream

11:11 a.m. x 2010-03-29

currently listening to: "your protector" by fleet foxes

recieved a letter from the job prospect i most covet: "your application is being considered."

hopes: up! why not.

scheduled reading. meeting with sponsor. english society meeting tonight. all homework done. all i need to do tonight is finish prepping canvas and arrange a still life. maybe get something down of it on the canvas.

i am excited to soon have all my worldly possessions in one spot. more than even that, all my books in one spot. even then i'm now going to be splitting them clean between two rooms (room and office) because there are so, so many. i'd like to get a little desk-shelf to house the ones i like staring me down when i write.

gretchen is riding me home on thursday, where i'm going to see manda and do something about the super-paper. i need to reread great granny webster and make up the section on that and get out at least five pages of my own thoughts in order to get at some kind of form. fiction professor advises that i spend more time than i feel necessary on carefully explaining my thesis. i "fly," he says, to fast away from points once i make them.

i have all the material to finish the criticism site i've been compiling, except for whatever the library has to send me. that is something to do yet.

when i am not here i must MAKE MYSELF this busy which is what i'd ETERNALLY RATHER DO. that said, i've created most of these obligations myself, which is a great feeling, or else i'd be grinding my face into the sidewalk and not writing in here, i am so busy. i prefer autonomy and trust. i am always more impressive when i do what i want rather than feebly attempt to do what others think they might want to see me try. i could opt for a ten page paper in form & theory but i'm doing twenty. the english society and the tributary are things i've earned. advanced criticism is too, and the site is my chosen project. i have designed or participated in the design of circa seven chapbooks this year, one of which will have original artwork for the cover by the photography professor!

AH!

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11