You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

my mother just asked me what's bothering me after yelling at me about my mood...i'm not allowed to be angry or sad or upset. i'm not allowed to be intensely mad or cry without getting yelled at.

how the hell could she know what that's like anyway? my mother is marcia brady - i swear to fucking god the bitch had the "perfect life" and she doesn't understand why my siblings and i don't get along or why i'm mean to dad or even why i'm irratable on a bad day!!! hmm...let's see...my brother and sister are assholes, my dad makes fun of my weight, and PEOPLE GET FUCKING MAD.

the more i think i need school to be over, the more i think of being stuck at home with this for three months. neither place is very pleasant right now.

know what happened to me last year? jason was on trial for drug possession in school and a faculty member was there. when it came up that i had gone to the office to talk to them about it, the staff member called me a "fucking psycho". the office won't listen to me. of COURSE i'm a PSYCHO - all i do whenever i'm in there is CRY about SOMETHING my "FRIEND" wants to do to HIMSELF or HERSELF or the WHOLE FUCKING SCHOOL because I LOVE MY FRIENDS...THAT MAKES ME A FUCKING PSYCHO?!?!?!?!?!

alright then...*ugh*...i can't type when i'm crying...

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)