you lost your place in line again

6:44 p.m. x 2003-04-23

today was seething of pretentious symbolism. if there is a god, he decided to poke fun at me today with this scenario. you see, i feel very unimportant a lot of the time. the more i try to get acknowledged the more ignored i feel. today - the 3D art teacher announced that his wife was having a baby. the back-table coallition (jordan, heather, bethany, and myself) decided to make him a card, and i drew it. just a quickie - thrown together in a few minutes. but a deserving representation of happiness.

and he didn't even seem that happy about it, like he wanted to give the thing back. and i sat down and thought to myself - "K@RI, it's okay! it doesn't matter!" and i decided to just occupy myself with my clay project: a heart-shaped box. and i picked up the lid, a perfectly formed, beautiful little heart...

...and it split. right down the center - crack. i'm sure i didn't look it but i felt like crying. nothing i ever do pays off and that said it perfectly. but then i was able to fix the heart straight away, and i went to fourth block, and tiff and i talked most of the time.

she said something to me - one of those off comments you don't think too intensely about - and it was really cool. definitely one of the nicest things anyone's said to me in a long time...and i bet she hardly noticed. tiff's a wonderful companion in paranoia, dancing, and white-rapping ^-^. and if clare happens upon this, i'm sincerely sorry but i really don't wish to get involved in school-oriented-activity just at the moment, especially one that takes until nine -_-. i'm in a bad patch right this second and really need the after-school free time...hell i need school to be OVER.

now if you excuse me, i'd like to go watch the rest of "friends: season 3" and dance to jimi hendrix because that is as close to happiness as i can get right now.

ross: what do you think is the most romantic song ever?
rachel: i think it's "the way we were".
phoebe: hmm, i think it's the one that elton john wrote for that guy on "who's the boss" - "always with me, young tony danza"...

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11