7:42 p.m. x 2003-05-12

-_- there really isn't enough bad going on in my day-to-day life for me to feel as bad as i do. i used to actually do things in gym and pay attention in class and make an effort to stay awake during the day.

now - *splat*. i'm a veggie. i blame it all on insomnia, even though i think that's only causing part of the problem. i'm pretty sure i know what's causing the other part, but that happens to be why i'm in therapy. and it makes me extremely angry that i can't talk about it, even here. i've actually been quite explicit and literal in here for a diary that's quite avidly read by close associates and enemies alike (i don't honestly mind who reads this...i'm an exhibitionist). but ah well.

i just need it to be summer. i need to rest, write, read, go out with my accomplices and get called "crackhead". i need to get AWAY from the male model who throws ice at me, from the art club of death, from senile teachers, from having to wait until the ride home to listen to a cd...from, as stewart would say, the world...

i hate being misanthropic - myself in an IM: i saw a guy i like. i think he's gay, i give up...*gives up and deflates like a little red myssi balloon* - blah - but i have been lately. i think it's because i have too many friends @_@. yes, that is a good thing...but i'm bad at spreading myself thin...and i'm already starting to miss jaypea T__T and aaliyah's leaving, too -_- and i would REALLY just love some time off...

brian hugh and therapy tomorrow ^-^ that's happy...

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)