You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

on sunday, my mom and i were watching "sex & the city" and i looked down at the clock. it was ninish. i thought to myself - "hmm...i don't have much to do tonight so i think i'll get to sleep early so i'm not bored for seven more hours." or something.

i did not go to sleep...and i had therapy the next day, i was almost totally awake all day with the small exception of a half-hour around noon. and then i fell asleep at eleven yesterday, and was so reluctant to wake up today...ugh, *shakes her head*. i'm still kind of half-asleep. and i'm beginning to get really...SAD. i won't use the d-word, so we'll just say "sad". i'm "sad". and my therapist has kindly allowed two more sessions with her before she leaves ^-^ her office gave me a little biography thing that they have for each therapist who works there, so i won't forget what she looks like. i hate forgetting people.

*le sigh*...so, i'll leave you with what has been my favorite song for the past three days (or two, sunday & monday was all one day for me really). it's so lonely and cliche...i love it, and the record was only $1, wedged between "the sound of silence" and "scarborough fair". wheeee.

I AM A ROCK
simon & garfunkel

a winter�s day
in a deep and dark december
i am alone
gazing from my window
to the streets below
on a freshly fallen
silent shroud of snow
i am a rock
i am an island
i�ve built walls
a fortress deep and mighty
that none may penetrate
i have no need of friendship
friendship causes pain
it�s laughter and
it�s loving i disdain
i am a rock
i am an island
don�t talk of love
but i�ve heard the words before
it�s sleeping in my memory
i won�t disturb the slumber
of feelings that have died
if i never loved
i never would have cried
i am a rock
i am an island
i have my books
and my poetry to protect me
i am shielded in my armor
hiding in my room
safe within my womb
i touch no one
and no one touches me
i am a rock
i am an island
and a rock feels no pain
and an island never cries

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)