illimitable vastness, brilliant light, and the gloss and smoothness of material things

1:41 p.m. x 2003-10-12

after two days of immense fun and erratic sleep, i collapsed yesterday at midnight and found my way to the scariest, walled-off part of my brain and decided to stay there until i woke up, scared and sweating, around eight in the morning. it wasn't a very surreal nightmare, and that's what made it worse - it was pure, realistic mental terrorism at work.

after this, i went to borders ^-^ and i started xmas shopping. as is in myssi's book of ethics - magazines are not suitable gifts, so i was able to keep issues of gothic beauty, bust, and bitch. in the gift department, i got a john lennon scrapbook thing that looks incredible, the bust guide to the new girl order that i've been eyeing for a month, she's not there: a life in two genders and middlesex (which hada great first chapter, as experienced on clare's bed), the kennedy curse...i know deryl hannah says no but I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF, and the da vinci code, which alex has intruiged the hell out of me with. in the music department - the raveonettes, a perfect circle, placebo, and rasputina. now i need to work on looking for bedding (i have a rabid bed accessory fetish found most often among old women with large ragdoll collections), new book cases, a suitable light fixture, and a few more cds online.

aaawe - says "the acid bath dvd beckons from your wishlist". i beckon back, i'm painfully eager to own that in particular, dvd player or no dvd player (we own one - )

*shuffles through belongings* i got to keep lying: a metaphorical memoir and autobiography of a schizophrenic girl because they're rather small compared to the other items. mother's insane if she believes this will last me until next week, much less december. mer.

marvelous weekend it's been so far, though, blurry as it is. last evening's concert was a perfectly coreographed ironic comedy - it was a triple bill of bands i'd never seen or heard before: zebrahead, juliana theory, and reel big fish. the reason we were there was because tweak and kara are rabid juliana theory fans, and it was a far better choice of activity than homecoming. so we arrived at the venue, and zebrahead was on first. not bad for a live party band but the lead singer annoyed the piss out of me, i think. i can't remember anything about him other than the fact that he bothered me. the best part of their show was the lapdance contest, where a boy and a girl from the audience gave an old stage hand a personal exotic experience. the boy one, predictably.

then came the mind-boggling portion of the show: the headliners, juliana theory, had a half-hour set in the middle of the three-hour concert. paul and i, perched on the bleachers as we were both rather wiped out from "partying" the evening before, laughed in confusion. is this juliana theory? neither of us knew. they finally mentioned that they were during the fifth song of the set, and then ended quite soon after. reel big fish did the finale, and they were a phenominally talented act. i tip my beret to them.

while i ultimately feel bad that tweak and kara weren't treated to a proper concert by their favorite band, i'm happy that they at least got to see them. i remember little of their set, except paul and i "talked" about the lead singer's bum (you can't actually hold a conversation at a concert, can you?). it was big. we both felt we got our money's worth.

and of course there was clarefest before the concert, an evening's worth of deep conversation and singing "NOUS TOUS HABITONS DANS LE SOUS-MARIN JAUNE!" and, of course, "stacy's mom" by fountains of wayne. paul's quite a trip.

now if you don't mind, i must be browsing amazon for desirable items. have a lovely evening <3.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11