1:57 p.m. x 2003-10-26

my days within the past week have consisted essentially of maruchan instant lunch, reading and rereading autobiography of a schizophrenic girl, and watching "vh1 illustrated" religiously. in between all this excitement, i've been scrambling violently to validate some stupid excess of feeling. i'm beginning to doubt the truth in a lot of what i say. and what i hear. that doesn't mean i think everyone's lying to me, mind you...i don't think i can explicitly put what i mean by it.

i will suffer for my lover
i will suffer for his sins
i will suffer for my lover
i am suffering for him
"blasphemous girl" by my ruin

i wish i was closer to my own feelings. they're a million miles away from me and i'm just feeling the little pangs in the distance. but, since i'm able to anyway - i'm going to disown some of those feelings for a while. this doesn't mean that i'm taking back what i've said, just that it doesn't count right now. the "trey" and/or "tyler" thing, namely.

NOW...i want you to go do a few things for me. one of them is to go visit the links below the picture at the top, tweak through andy, and leave them a sweet note. the other thing is i want you to go see "kill bill" because it REALLY kicked ass. the plot, in a nutshell, is that this assassin (referred to as "the bride" and "black mamba") is attacked on her wedding day and her entire wedding party is killed. except for her - she goes into a four-year coma and reemerges to avenge her unborn child. very good twist at the "end". i say "end" because it's half of a whole epic feature. i'm unreasonably excited to see volume 2, *dances*.

i must be running along now. mmm...she never fails to amaze me, go look. <3.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)