you could meet somebody who really loves you

4:54 p.m. x 2003-10-27

this week's art club infinitely made up for how much last week's sucked. manda, kara, clare, heather, paul, bridget and i wrote notes to andy threatening him with amish violence, discussed lesbians and the weather, groped paul and made faces, and had an all around great time discussing our ideas for the art club (we were so on task!). this was prefaced by an interesting evening watching "secretary" which had even more interesting parallels to parts of my day (!!!). i love that movie. i was impossibly down for parts of saturday and sunday, and i thought i'd feel much better if i could watch "may". blockbuster didn't have it - MER! so i rented "28 days later" instead but didn't have time to get into it. and so i was all weak and alone, snivelling on my bed at what i thought was 2:30 in the morning (and what was actually 1:30, slightly safer). "secretary" had somehow misplaced itself from my shelf, and i thought, "YES!". and so i drifted to sleep to the sound of james spader smacking maggie gyllenhaal's ass.

best movie. ever.

speaking of movies, i must see gus van sant's "elephant". it's about a school shooting and is acted entirely by highschoolers improvising their dialogue and is supposed to be extremely chilling. and i think paul & i need to see "kill bill" again. and be ninjas (paul: "i'm looking at swords now. how weird is that?"...we <3 paul).

on more a dramatic note, i decided i didn't really want to go to fourth block today and proceeded to do so by making a councelor's appointment. in my heart of hearts, i just really didn't want to be in that class. and as soon as i got in there...something just snapped. i started ranting and crying and all that loveliness, and THANKFULLY, miss councelor woman understood and saw my side of things. my upsetedness felt justified and i calmed down almost immediately.

but, that didn't really do too much to relieve what i think was really bothering me, which began bothering me really bad last night which started up again last week which REALLY ignited last year which is so STUPID! in this case, i recall a statement from agitated's entry on sexual assault: "it's quite fashionable, but awfully optimistic, to say we've come a long way in our understanding of ___________", and you could put anything there. i know what i'm putting, and it's really sad and even more disgusting to see the biased attitude some people still cling to about personal issues that don't affect them at all, much less harm them. and if one is stupid enough to think that what i do and the choices that i make affects one negatively or positively then one is FUCKED and needs to reevaluate one's priorities before i REALLY AFFECT ONE'S ASS IN AN EXTREMELY NEGATIVE MANNER.

*weilds her ninja sword* - and on an infinitely lighter note, a great big hooray for TWEAK & ANDY!!! as of 8:45 last night it is official - they are now to be known collectively as TWEAK&ANDY, a single unit bound by rootbeer, ski boots, and lots of love <3.

and where am i? engaged to my "secretary" vhs. hmm...alright, things are looking up...

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11