You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

cello and violin: a love story
a cello and violin play together. the violin gracefully wailing alongside the cello's baroque hum. on occassion the cello can confuse itself with a guitar, plug it in and you can hardly tell the difference. but the violin knows what it is and harps its unique beauty no matter what, but especially if it can play with cello. and no piano can stand in their way!

(that was not about instruments, <3)

i managed to pick myself up conciderably (with some help, of course) from my little rut. not entirely out of their yet, but a little pep-talk and a suspiciously pastel layout made everything a little better.

friday is festivus and saturday is white stripes! i CAN'T stay completely down! festivus dance at school and jack white, *dances*, and tomorrow i'm supposed to go pick up another sweater. i hope so. i love this sweater. AND MY ENGLISH PAPER'S DEADLINE GOT PUSHED UP TO MONDAY! ooo yeah. so, yes, is my luck looking up? partially. i'm scared to jump immediately out of my hazey morose cloud but, well, things are rather mer. yesterday i suppose i really really lost it. in my councelor's office. and i had to force myself to admit to so much that i, on some level, exhausted myself and had to be detained in the nurse's until i became de-comatised. and since she's going to play a part in my getting back into therapy, i'm going to have to face those issues quite regularly very soon. i suppose it's all for the better. i know it's for my own good. but that doesn't change the fact that the mention of it rendered me hysterical for a half-hour followed by a block-long catatonic blackout.

and that was before the worst part of my day, which was that probably the person i was relying on most to understand blowing me off. i'd be mad at her but i don't have it in me to be mad at anyone but myself right now. except maybe my english teacher, "godzilla in nun's clothing".

okay now if you haven't downloaded sherry fraser yet, read the lyrics and realize this song rules your life:

SHERRY FRASER
marcy playground

i saw stars
falling all around her head
red gold and blue
sherry fraser
where are you
cause i saw stars
falling all around your head
when we were young
sherry fraser
where have you gone
and we're all wondering
when will you come back
and play
some day
sherry yeah
the mad hatter
he waits for alice
to come to tea again
he waits forever
for his old lover
and always wondering
will i see stars
falling all around your head
when you return
sherry fraser
what have you learned
and we're all wondering
when will you come back
and play
some day
and please do come back
and play
some day
please do come back
and play
some day
sherry yeah

play it with the lights low, lying on your bed, staring at the ceiling. and be amazed.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)