You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

as much as a raving neurotic mess i've been lately, things have worked out comparatively cool. right now the only thing overtly irking me is PARENTING. i'm required to take that class, but i don't want it getting in the way of my perfect senior schedule, so i'm going to try and weasle my way into it this coming semester and get the bejesus out of photo 2 or guitar...i don't feel i'll particularly enjoy either of them.

i slept completely through math today, and i had a dream that i was over at sara's house. it wasn't her house, but you know how that works in dreams...anyway, she was upset in the dream, but i wasn't really paying sufficient attention, as i was preoccupied with her phone. it was really cool - but mer, she doesn't really own one like that, and i've never seen one. but it was so interesting...i'm going to find one...

this week is going to be nice, though, despite all (i'll get around to what i'm despiting in a minute) - on friday manda & i want to go to the movies, and this next school week is just barely a week before it's xmas vacation...i'm insanely thrilled. gifts and sleep and visiting my aunt...*dances*...

alright, now to my despite. today chris & i were fighting and i suppose i feel guilty for not being better at communicating my feelings. he sat me down and said it was okay but it doesn't really ease the sting on my part. i don't care if that's "selfish" or something, the argument was about a topic of conversation i didn't really want to hear SHIT about and it moved me into a dangerous place, so i moved myself from the dangerous table and took a few deep breaths in the bathroom. i book i bought last week that has the best little exercise for when you're feeling overwhelmed, so i did that and was able to walk back to the cafeteria, composed (err - this is after i ran to the guidance office raving...*tisk tisk* i dissapoint myself). but things have since resolved, like they always do in such a way were it will invariably happen AGAIN because i can't do something as simple as say "that makes me really uncomfortable". UGH.

happy almost birthday to kara and bridget!

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)