my candle burns at both ends

1:45 a.m. x 2004-01-24

"obviously i should get out more. meet new people, see interesting places. and then bitch about them." - alex <3

my school feels the need every year to inflict this extra pang of humiliation by having everyone fill out forms by which we are subsequently matched with, i think ten other students of the opposite gender. when our results come through we must then PAY for the atrocious results. i don't think i should have to pay if i can rattle off the names of the poor individuals who've made my list for the past two years.

other than that brief stop, i tried to stay busy today. being a chronically lazy insomniac, i'm not really given to boughts of workaholicness, but today i experienced one bigtime. i faultered a bit during first block, being the world's foremost incompetant guitarist (i asked both manda and clare what i was doing wrong and got completely opposite answers...le sigh...), but sped up massively during second block, getting my entire work packet done in class. i was all proud of myself, for whatever deluded reason. i haven't slept through anything yet. of course i was thrilled with myself...

...until i saw my REPORT CARD, which we also got today. which was a surprise.

i think i'm the only person i know of thusfar who's found the fact that i failed photo funny. isn't that funny? i mean, of all things to fail - picture-taking. i have a grand elaborate reason for why i was unable to complete my work and for my abscence from class, but i've long since lost faith in the office's so-called "interest" in my education. i'd tell them why and they'd say "bullshit - no excuses!", but you know this isn't exactly coming from the staff's star pupil. i'm the erratic, monochromatic screech wandering the halls, occassionally testing my incredibly distorted sense of humor on the apathetic, aeropostale-clad passerbys. i can't imagine how i could convince them that i'm not a bad kid but i don't see the difference between myself and the people they seem to exhault. i'm a little less outgoing. my name's been linked to a series of suggestive incidents. i manage to consistantly offend teachers by my mere presence, yet still have them raving to my parents about how bright i am. this, and i do the annual really-dumb-thing like fail a class like photo. UGH.

or maybe it's because i don't wear jeans. i bet that's it...

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11