You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

my temper was positively threadbare today, but as manda and i huddles under our safe protective blanket of courtney love-ness, humming "hold on to me" and thinking about the good/strange/uncomfortable "old days" when it was just us two, being creepy and obsessing over courtney and brian hugh and dressing in weird fangirl clothes (babydoll dresses and dope hats - god what a year ninth grade was). we used to cry to each other on the phone because our parents wouldn't let us dye our hair (mine blonde, her's black). eventually mine relented (BUT I WANT IT TO LOOK JUST LIKE THAT, MER!!!), but alas, she's still fighting the good fight...and we're still too greatly preoccupied with courtney and hughey...

i've finally gotten something submitted to the art yearbook they can't reject (i got a grade for it and the teacher's still cooing over it from last semester, mwahaha) and i've settled, almost, into this peculiar food plan my mother's got me on (let's not use the word "diet", mer?). the constant feeling of immenant starvation has found itself a home in my stomach, cramping me up to the point of fear-of-fullness, which is pretty overwhelming now. i just ate dinner, a taco, and i'm ready to explode...that was not a very thought-out move...

but SERIOUSLY..."ALL THE DRUGS" is the best song EVER. EVERRR. EVERRRRRR. it's made that entire ugly mess of a day seem very worth it that i got to hear it like a million times. and rediscover the phenomena of the missing fourth block.

last semester, as properly chronicled in here, i never really went to my fourth block class on even days. same thing now. i haven't been going. of course - i ended up with an 89 in that class, and i'm ahead of everyone in this one. i'm so much more clear-headed and hard-working when i'm not in class, and this proves it. i've also been mentally absent from every single science class, and i have a 97. PLEASE STAY PUT, GRADES, PLEASE! just let me leave. let me think straight. LET ME START A BAND, hey, that's a great idea.

speaking of which...after all those many years of lying about it, i can really play my bass now. sort of. enough to be proud of my ability, enough to concider myself cool. curiously enough, i'm still really sucking at the guitar. god has a sick sense of humor.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)