You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

i've got this big ugly five-subject notebook that my sister never used (as it seems one is always overprepared for the rigors of highschool @_@ all those trappers i didn't need, i could've funded a third world nation...) and it's brimming with song-ness. lyrics, anyway. i'm on a mission: this year, i will learn, if even vaguely, to write music. it looks like i'm the only one who never actually learned. it's some rare, peculiar learning disability. when my mom heard i was taking guitar she lamented "but you can't read music!". i thought that was weird, before i realized it's common knowledge, or something, amongst everyone else. i know they taught it in elementary school but i didn't learn it.

tabs, though, are jesus. now i can wipe the dust off my little bass and really play it. and by really, i mean i can do the exercises in the book sam gave me @_@;;; but i've played "vivica" before. i'm not as lost a cause as i have been!

random good things

i've gotten manda as blitheringly addicted to "america's sweetheart" as i am.

i've found a painfully easy way to get my hair to look like i wished it would.

counseling today. perhaps an end to blind rage? i hope so. i'm getting sick of this feeling. i don't know how nu-metal bands do this.

pottery barn vanity stool (SQUEEEEE)

random bad things

the stupid teenage melodramatic discharge that's been seeping into and souring my mood for the past MONTH.

manda's becoming a hermit. i'm plotting a kidnapping here soon, she must leave her house and go havoc-reeking with me.

SCHOOL. school sucks. NEWSFLASH...

my lack of a "no"-button. if ever i needed my inner-bitch, i need her now DESPERATELY.

crowds. what's up with that? that never ever bothered me prior to this year, and it's making me more than a little resentful...it isn't like malls or movie theatres, where there are large crowds circulating about, but concentrated masses, like the cafeteria. tres bizarre.

hmm - a removable card from "cosmo!girl" that reads 'will you rub SPF on my back?' is the best way to say "i don't like you enough to give you a valentine, but here's a little something on 17 feb to insult your intelligence!". CHRIST i'm so bitter...let's end this, please...

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)