7:52 a.m. x 2004-03-04

it was nice to talk to clare the other day, and get out, however indirectly, ONE of the things that's pissed me off lately (& resolve another) and heard the story from an angle i can reason with. i WAS busy that night and they do those things a lot, yeah, it was the CIRCUMSTANCE that made me angry, and the way that certain HE handled it. "oh yeah well i'm sorry you're mad that you didn't get to see us play" fuck THAT like you're fucking led fucking zeppelin and i DIDN'T spend all that day writing and editing and getting excited about something I wanted to do because you know kari's just a hanger-on, yeah, just a paulgroupie, YOUR EGO OUTWEIGHS THE GOODS, BROTHER you can't back up what you've got such repellant pride in. i think he thinks of people in the wrong sense and FUCK HIM if he continues to think of ME the way i think he thinks (objectobjectobject) and he needs someone to FORCIBLY YANK HIM OUT OF PACOLAND and make him see that his social climate is almost as unhealthy as mine.

except he manages to EXTERNALIZE all that self-loathing, wonder of wonders (NOTSORRYNOTEVERFOREVERMYPOWER). fuck you, paul. you and "your band" sucks.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)