9:20 p.m. x 2005-04-26
by nature i'm in no way competitive. there is nothing external that compells me to "outdo". i'm a very self-motivated person and pay an unusually low amount of respect for others expectations of me (my expectations of myself are very high, but also very "self-centered"). there is, however, a single aspect that i've consistently excelled in, expected perfection in and take great care to make people realize what i can do with it and the power i have over it (also in underplaying how FUCKING AWESOME i am).
so this guy is pretty good, too. i'm going to write him a letter and inform him of our standing archrivalry (and maybe/maybe not of my unremitting lust for him, the inspiration he's set and the details of the depths from which he propelled me into this stifling block of sense and attention span).
today i showed everybody the menacing picture on the back of the decemberists' "picaresque" album, with the large and puzzling man-tree. he got a roundly bright reception. clare and i ate pizza and kind of stared at him the entire time.
if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start