You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

edit: it's awesome when you, meaning me, writes about how awesome somebody else is, meaning you, and they see it! this diary does try and lift spirits when it can. it's not always about my upper arms or my alarming preoccupations. it may look that way but you're WRONG! it's the goddamn tooth fairy!

whaaaat? most importantly: "AWESOME!" and "THANK YOU!" (my comments look excrutiatingly ghetto but i cannot fix them. tried. i wonder why that is.)

since i'm convalescing i thought this would be a great day to start putting myself on a restricted diet, which sounds severe and disgusting. i took all of my high school career to avoid being fanatical about dieting. i don't want to be fanatical about it now, which is why i figure i just ought to eat less and make myself busier. i also need to run.

all of this should come after "breathing" though. i didn't need any tylenol today. the camel's hump in my throat's dematerialized. i WROTE like a motherfucker today, scouring my publisher files for well-constructed concepts. i have sixteen versions (prose, a script, a series of statement sentenses, a novella, and the lyrics to "pretty polly" by queen adreena) of the same thing.

i half forgot and half didn't about writing, because i do it so unconsciously and so all the freaking time that i don't remember that it's something i want to do with my life. haaa.

katy's birthday party is this saturday, which wil propell me from work to a lake where i'll be expected to wade. so that means breaking out the bathing suit dress! i found a king's ransom in these things at sear's with clare. score!

i'm so so so so so happy that aliya had fun on her visit out here. i want to buy her the colorado tshirt that says "this nipple is aspen" and i want the one that says "behold my huge throbbing oregon". she let me put cds by the cure and katatonia, amongst others, on my music library. i'm quite joyous. my next point of order is to venture westward and crash the aliya pad, and we'll party in c-springs.

i'm caught under the oppressive thrall of weezer's "beverly hills", and not only do i accept it, i enjoy it.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)