you know, agent desmond, i figure this whole office, furniture included, is worth twenty-seven thousand dollars

11:40 p.m. x 2005-07-23

i worked from eleven to seven-thirty today, after which i was very tired. it could've been more daunting than it was but it was STILL not pleasant to stand that long. i don't know what i'm saying, though, i could be working in a restaurant for christ's sake. after this was done i went, and i bought some books on violence in childhood, and there was still something...missing...

and do you know what that something was? well i'll tell you. this guy i like, i say, he's in a band? yes? not MY type of band (it would be so great if it was a rapper but, no, rest assured, i'm still not that interesting), but i have been dedicating time lately to try and listen to their music and at least bob my head, tolerate its aural presence. sound is hard for me to tolerate. i may listen to my headset at maximum, but that's a sound i want to hear. so i've tried adjusting myself to this. i said: k, go for it, just jump in and throw your arms up and buy the damn thing. listen to it. get used to it.

so i did this, and i went home, and after putting it off for a few hours...i listened to it. and i's not ALL bad. they could definitely benefit from some finessing in the lyrical department, varying drum arrangements and other such things. focus better, maybe. i had low expectations for it. i paid full price for it because i am a witless, skanky ho for their lead singer. clare and i will go see them in concert. it will be a shameless exhibition of all i've worked hard to cultivate, all that staid, impenetrable cool will crash over me and i will be reduced to a pitiful puddle of teenage girl.

for THIS (or perhaps this?). it's all about that and "fire walk with me". i LOVE "fire walk with me" it is my FAVORITE MOVIE. I STARE AT HIM AND LISTEN TO THE "FIRE WALK WITH ME" SOUNDTRACK AND I TRY TO NOT THINK ABOUT HOW I CANNOT ACCOMPLISH THE SIMPLEST TASKS. or, that's the plan.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11