You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

"inertiatic ESP" KICKS MY ASS. this layout is very indulgent and masturbatory, but at once quite necessary. i feel better today, i got a B on a paper in english. i hope that i get an okay grade on the next one, and this one that i'm doing right now. cause, y'know...he says "i hope to see more improvement like this!" but i've all ready handed in two assignments...i never know until it's too late. but that's just fine, it's fine as long as i pass. i have english 102 in the fall. that's it for english, as far as i can tell.

i didn't have a paper to do last night but i was still up until three in the morning trying to figure out how i felt about reading a statement on the internet. it really put me off. i had to sit up for a long time and write to myself and try to figure out how i felt about it. and it's something - it was a statement somebody made about something i'm acquainted with, something i've done, something most of the people i'm close to have done. but IT BOTHERED ME AND IT MADE ME THINK ABOUT IT IN A NON-CLINICAL WAY. i saw it and i didn't see it constructively and i didn't see it as coping or anything psychological...

i just wrote "be safe be safe" over and over again all over a notebook. it scared the living shit out of me, children.

he�s got fasting black lungs
made of clove splintered shards
they�re the kind that will talk
through a weezing of coughs
and i hear him every night
in every pore
and every time he just makes me warm
freeze without an answer
free from all the shame
must i hide
cause i�ll never never sleep alone
look at how they flock to him
from an isle of open sores
he knows that the taste is such
such to die for
and i hear him every night
on every street
the scales that do slither
deliver me from...
freeze without an answer
free from all the shame
then i�ll hide cause i�ll never never sleep alone
oh lord
said i�m bloodshot for sure
pale runs the ghost
swollen on the shore
every night
in every pore
the scales that do slither
deliver me from...
freeze without an answer
free from all the shame
then i�ll hide
cause i�ll never never sleep alone

- the mars volta, "the widow"

i'm drawing again, like i really haven't since eighth grade. and investing A LOT of energy into making things up. i feel great.

(the truth is, 3/4ths of my desktop have disappeared...)

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)