You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

i think i've got a lot of feelings in me. a lot of good ones about you and a lot of bad ones for circumstance. i'm scared to bring it up. i'm scared about what kind of advice people will try and give me because i'm naive. there is one person with all of the facts and she will be thinking in my best interest, but i don't want to seem insane. i don't think i would seem insane to her, but i definitely would not like certain words leaving my mouth. it's always the most frustrating when it's the really most obvious thing and you wonder why everyone isn't looking straight at it and getting it. it's likely hard enough to miss that you assumed it doesn't need pointing out. my insides are grinding. i'm just tired. i've alienated myself really horribly. i want to be around him, i want to talk to my best friends, and i want to write about things i wish didn't exist.

did you know that everything i write comes true? every person i make up and take solace in the fact that people like that can't exist, i wind up meeting them somewhere.

yesterday
upon the stair
i met a man
who wasn't there
he wasn't there
again today
i wish i wish
he'd go away

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)