You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

bottomed-out with exhaustion. didn't really cease to motor along or anything like that, just dragged everywhere. i mean...it having been an evening (or month) of some small energy expenditure, o my brothers. so we (clare & i) stopped off at the korova (quizno's) for a nightcap.

i'm the luckiest kid on dland, let me say. i've got clare. i've got jimmy. i've got clare. i've got jimmy. i've got clare. i've got jimmy.

...and yeah, duff and i are friends, and i fucking love the bear. i can't help it. i am a little girl.

and i'm fucking exhausted.

& if i may add an addendum: i hate how all little girls look the same. fuck that. i put a meager shred of thought and effort into how i look and now i want to put forth even less. the thought of seeming calculated now absolutely scares the shit out of me. it's almost midnight. i owe it to myself not to end this night on a flip-out. i have to relax and acknowledge what i have and be happy. in order to do that, i'll probably need to cry about it.

cool. whatever.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)