i want nothing but to be your friend...

...i hate this so much.

i never ever wanted it to go here. i never wanted it to be different. i should have resolved my shit in december. i should've gotten better. i should've gone back to counselling then. i should've sent clare a present from a treatment center instead of going to her party.

but i didn't. i didn't resolve how miserably, profoundly depressed i was in december and this is what's come of it. or, i see the direct line, even if you don't...

{for the first time in my life i'm praying on a regular basis. I DON'T WANT THIS. I WANT TO BE WHAT I WAS.}

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)