don't hate her when she gets up to leave

4:26 p.m. x 2006-03-17

i don't want to lose you.

you're my best friend.

i'm sorry for the whole misunderstanding.

i'm sorry if i didn't react the way you would've preferred.

i want things to be the way they were.

i want nothing but to be your friend...

...i hate this so much.

i never ever wanted it to go here. i never wanted it to be different. i should have resolved my shit in december. i should've gotten better. i should've gone back to counselling then. i should've sent clare a present from a treatment center instead of going to her party.

but i didn't. i didn't resolve how miserably, profoundly depressed i was in december and this is what's come of it. or, i see the direct line, even if you don't...

{for the first time in my life i'm praying on a regular basis. I DON'T WANT THIS. I WANT TO BE WHAT I WAS.}

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11