6:52 p.m. x 2006-09-05

i'm probably not living up to expectations with this, but it isn't mopey. i'm not crying blood. a jewish boy sat on my lap today. there's no earthly way one could cry blood with a jewish boy on one's lap. at least not this one.

this computer's been a bit iffy since my brother uploaded twin peaks season two onto it. i've only gotten the oppertunity to watch one episode yet, as i've been busy-esque. my head's been on the side of all over the place and i've had more than a little bit of trouble staying focus got screwed with, but as i stated earlier, things are different. my application to temple is buried under the weight of my terrible, splotchy internet connection. super.

i'm applying into the film and media studies program and the psych program...if i get into both, i then have my options opened...if i only get into one, that's what i'm going for. if i get into neither i'm obviously not going to temple, hehe. but that'd be nice.

i'm really gross. i ate two muffins at school today. then chicken and mashed potatoes at home. eugh. yesterday marked three months that i've been speaking to ken. i'm rather disappointed in myself that i was too frazzled to make note of it...

i don't know how i feel or how i should say to others that i feel. it's just at that phase, it escapes me. it's a black haze now. it's a nonspecific unsettling. i don't even know what about it is troubling me right now, but just that i have to let it pass. because i am sick and tired of it coloring all the things that are good. especially, you know...our friendship...jimmy and i, that is one of the very most important things to me.

alex started her night class tonight. the first night of my night class last fall, jimmy called me and asked me if i could talk to him about problems he was having with heather. so much has happened since then. so much could happen in the coming year.

and i am going to love every minute of it.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11