11:54 a.m. x 2006-09-28
i'm resuming counseling this afternoon. i am fucking sick and fucking tired of certain trends that i've developed. i am going to do something about it.
i've got to square with my anger. big time. i have so much rage. it's impairing the way that i function and the way that i act. i feel like my chest is full of ashes. i'm tired of shit like that.
i'm very aware that i'm going to be okay. there is no dire situation aloft at the moment. i'm not even doing very badly at all. i've just got a roadblock and i've let it get pretty big. and i have to deal with it the way i have to deal with it or else...mark my words, it will mean hell for every single person i interact with on a regular basis.
but i will be damned if i continue the way that i've been going. that's part of why i'm so livid. i don't think people quite understand where my anger is directed, exactly, or what i'm sick of versus what i just don't fucking take seriously.
if you care about me, understand. all i want is to throw a pillow over my head and scream.
if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start