You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

i need to go shopping. i need to do my hair. i need to irrigate my skin. i need to take naps daily. i need to eat better and more consistently (and less constantly). i need to not be so relentlessly critical of my attitude. i need to accept what is out of my hands. i need to appreciate what is in my hands. i need to not place such emphasis on what needs to be fixed because something will ALWAYS need to be fixed but something will always be PERFECT and I WILL ALWAYS MISS THAT WORRYING ABOUT WHAT NEEDS TO BE FIXED. i can't do that anymore.

i feel like i'm shedding a layer of skin. that is most likely a sign that i need to go back to sleep. i think i'll curl up on a couch in the lobby and do that (i am waiting for my ride home from school at the moment).

this is better for me and i know it...but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. it sucks and i hate it. fuck.

edit: slumbering on cushioned bench in the cafeteria lobby with "siuil a run" and a book over my face FOR THE FUCKING WIN, MAN. i think i want to cry cause i'm so tired.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)