i used to live alone before i knew you

9:33 p.m. x 2006-11-01

i'm trying to fix my ipod. there's something up with...i believe...the itunes software. i think that that's really the problem at the moment. i was messing around with it downstairs, and i did get it to work for a bit. in the course of this i went through my music library...i had deleted a bunch of stuff off my ipod a bit ago, and i went through the music that was no longer in itunes to see if i wanted to put any back on.

this inevitably meant running into the scores of eurometal that i have on that computer...as that is most of the music that's not on my ipod (honestly...because there's so much of it...isn't that peculiar...). as i was observing this, i thought that i had not really ever listened to it. to "infinite", yes, back...last...summer? geez. yes. because jimmy gave me that, independant from the horde that i got later from the german. anyway. i put "infinite" back on the library, as well as "ecliptica", and decided i would listen to it and try to...understand.

my conclusion: there's something...really wrong...with that computer. i'll get back to you about the eurometal.

computer woes stalk my every turn. however! upon encountering a severe discrepency that nearly made me cry...(i've been working so hard on this paper and the computers keep conking out), alannah left me an amazing message. AND! haha! holy shit! i got a call and it was LOUD AS HELL and i had to hold the phone away from my head, and it was an incredible guitar solo...then i heard "WHOOOOOOOO!" and it clicked out, then duff txt'd me. haha. he's at the decemberists show in philadelphia! that was pretty awesome of him. oh man.

so i'm feeling not so bad. i met a friend of jimmy's and the bearded one's...isiah. how terrible - i'd friended him on myspace in, like, august. and i met him today. he seems very cool.

i wanted sushi today. badly. i wound up with these things called "pinwheels" that are like deli-made poseursushi. i got italian ones. they did the job, you know...fulfilled their purpose. but they were not sushi. not by any means, beyond mere appearance. mmm. there was sushi there, but a huge party platter. i would have bought it if i hadn't had to eat it outside. where everyone would be able to watch me eating sushi off a party platter. i'm not beyond that or anything...really i just had a lot to carry...but mark my words. i'm going back for that thing soon.

(also in my itunes travels i listened to alanis morissette, which i've not done in a pretty long time...and it reminded me that i used to like the name "morissette" for a boy [what the hell] and a friend threatened that, in the event i ever subjected a child to that, she'd call him "marmoset". that made me smirk, and sneer at myself mockingly.)

one or two things still have my blood boiling. but i accept that i can't do anything about them now. i've spent the past little bit volleying back and forth between resentment about one thing and repulsion about the other. i should take my own advice about the one thing...what i would tell anybody else to do...it doesn't really quell the embarrassment or anything, but...i should let the concern pass. have faith in it, that it is a passing phase. if it is what i believe in it to be. likewise...the other matter...when first faced with it i gritted my teeth, teared up and went into battle-mode. what-can-i-do-to-stop-this. i feel better leaving it to fate...but i still want my opinion to be there, to be counted for. i'm comfortable with that, that that's all i can do is state how i feel...

...and enjoy the fact that everyone agrees with me. PWNT.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11