9:38 a.m. x 2007-04-06
i have a new story idea! and i've been feverishly working on it. and watching "twin peaks season two". ohhhh yes. i watched disc one earlier, and will watch the second tonight. i'm so pleased! i think the quality's lovely, and the set more than does the job. i just wanted to see the episodes.
sometimes i just stand back and am floored at how lucky i am, and how happy. i get frustrated with myself when something upsets me because i know deep down i'm really so happy. because i've never been so glad about present circumstance (in every aspect except living conditions). i wish jimmy were here. i can't wait to see him, and see how happy he is. and hug him. even just that is the most warm, comforting feeling. i love being physically close to him. i love knowing him, and being his girlfriend. i love his love. i'm so grateful for him.
he's my treasure. if he is recruited by this band, i want to have a cool little dinner together here and celebrate. i really want to make him dinner, because it's something i've always wanted to do. mmm. i'm glad i'm not being a moodcube tonight. i got my period today, which explains last evening. eugh. i got it sometime in the middle of the night, too, and bolted awake. it was a mess, and typically does not happen that way. but, as per every month, i'm very glad it's here. and can't wait for it to go away again. i wish it would just pop in, wave, make itself known so i can rest assured my uterine lining is not housing anything of a fertilized nature, and be on its way. but i really am fortunate. my periods only ever last all of two days, and this technically came wednesday night/thursday morning...it'll probably have vanished by saturday morning.
it is pretty cool to get it regular, since i never did before, which was especially irksome when jimmy and i began intimate relations, i had nothing to look foreword to to make sure i was in the clear. which resulted in an absurd number of plan b's, which i'm sure contributed to the fact you have to pay an arm and a leg for those suckers now. impulsive sex will not go unpunished! even by your local planned parenthood! $23 a month on the thusfar awesomely reliable and effective birth control perscription apri beats the odd (ehh...weekly) $45 on emergency contraception. all for a half-hour jaunt through my womenly realm courtesy of a woman named gwen. she was very pleasant.
i also happened to gracefully dodge involving my insurance in any of this. sure, yes, insurance would've handily paid for...almost all of this. i spent $81 on the pap smear and i pay $23 a month for the pills, off insurance. but i'm also under my parents yet, and it gives me a great sense of autonomy to do it myself. the $81 was a one-time deal, and $23 a month is very fair. the only inkling my mother's ever had that i'm doing something medical behind her back was the invoice i recieved in the mail for the $81 which made me cry. not cause i had to pay $81 dollars to quest diagnostics, but because she opened my motherfucking mail. and proceeded to assume i got some sort of bad test result. she's forever under the impression that i have or am in immediate danger of acquiring an STD.
maybe she ought to watch more television.
anyway. my story. it's good, it's got all my favorite mildly palatable, very nearly socially acceptable themes in it. and a good little plot. i've found i'm very poor at explaining things. ernie's instructed me about the importance of a logline, a little 30-word blurb on your concept...i'm usually incredibly terse. i can't stretch a paper for a class out beyond two pages most of the time. but when it comes to my own imagination, i'm assaulted by the complexity! which is so ridiculous.
i just like to talk about myself.
if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start