You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

jimmy was so profoundly sweet today! i had been getting concerned, and had something pretty serious (well, you know, serious...to me) to tell him this morning. but it went over well and we went out to dinner/lunch/breakfast? it was kind of all three for me. dinner could've allegedy been the bagged cheese popcorn i just ate. but we went and had a crispani and he bought me a nightgown. and HOLY FUCK! HE'S BUYING ME "INLAND (motherfucking) EMPIRE"! it comes out in a week! AAAAGGHH!!!!! that made me flip out!

and so did his sweetness. he was amazing all day, and we went back to his house and had a snuggle watching an episode of "transformers" - the old guys from the 80s. he squealed with pleasure every time soundwave spoke with his rad techno voice. i once again lapsed into my narrow, autistic facination with the last name "witwicki". ernie came by and we had a rousing meeting on the status of business. there's currently a business, and that is getting jimmy's cd produced/released/pimped/sold. 1000 copies of it with very very nice art by ernie, priced at around $3. we're getting a stand made, it'll be awesome. jimmy's had this cd for a few years and we previously attempted to check out a mass order, but nothing came to fruition at the time. now is serious. now is business. IT'S BUSINESS TIME!

ever since i had a calzone the other day, all i want is another one. fuck. but it so is not something you eat often. or ever, as my case oughta be. i wish i could just lose the inhibitions and be fat. i really have excellent willpower and dieting is no trouble for me, and when i don't eat right i feel like SHIT. my body craves and demands steamed vegetables sometimes, which is the weirdest feeling. i just wish i didn't care. i'd eat a calzone every day! damn it!

but today...today rocked very thoroughly. i'm really really happy, and relieved i got to talk to jimmy. he let a lot out about how upset he is i won't be as close by anymore. the entire time we were out he held my hand or put his arms around my waist, hugged me or nuzzled me or kissed me, and it was amazing ^-^. constantly told me i'm beautiful and that he loves me. it isn't as if he doesn't do that often but we have been dating a year and a month now. but it was incredible, and he told me that he's going to get me something very special to take to school with me, which he wants to be a piece of real jewelry.

and i say: THAT IS BADASS. because i think that's a very very special expression of intimacy and affection, and i've never been given real jewelry by a man before (allegedly - the other day i was cleaning my jewelry boxes [i have three - i'm terrible] and i found the charm on the necklace my first "boyfriend" [sixth grade, kids] gave to me - if it's real, that's nonsense, but it really doesn't look like costume jewelry at all...it's an opal heart in a gold claspy thing...i've never gotten rid of it or been neglegant with it, because even though he and i were not exactly soul mates, i really appreciated how much he loved me and cared about me, even if i was a socially awkward nightmare). we're going to go look soon...and i'm really really really touched. i do not need expensive jewelry, but it very much means something to me. it's a big deal. but pretty much any gift, cheap as it can be...if it has personality, it's wonderful. like mr. softimus prime is one extreme token of affection. AND "INLAND EMPIRE" HOLY SHIT! so i will pretty much freak out over anything, but real jewelry is extremely special...and i'm going to get something awesome. awesome within reason, financially. awesome.

i love my jimmy so dearly *^-^*.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)