white chalk hills are all i've known. white chalk hills will rot my bones.

1:01 a.m. x 2007-10-25

i downloaded pj harvey's new album, "white chalk". itunes worked just long enough for me to do it and i'm very very grateful. there are other artists whose work i like better, but there aren't any other artists whose lyrics i connect with nearly as well. each of her albums have meant something special to me as i've discovered them. i read before buying it that it's "not an album to be listening to when you're sad", which i am, but i think this is perfectly empathetic, perfectly comforting to hear. and it's gorgeous. it has a lightness and an eeriness. it's a good thing to hear right now.

i listened to "angelene" obsessively around the time of the horrible horrible incidents throughout spring of 06, feeling funny and pretentious that a song about prostitution was comforting me. "it's you" makes me think of all the horrible things that happened when i was being dismissed from my house and enduring the ridiculous for the relationship i wanted so badly. all those feelings are still really vivid in me. i'm still tricking myself out of thinking a certain way. out of certain behaviors.

as soon as i'm left alone
the devil wanders into my soul
and i pretend to myself
and i pretend to myself
i go out to the old milestone
insanely expecting you to come there knowing
that i wait for you there
that i wait for you there
come here at once
on a night with no moon
all of my being is now in pining
all of my being is now in pining
what formerly cheered me now seems

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11