You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

i am sick and angry and shaking. it's snowing outside and it's beautiful. i took a walk outside and i talked to my pal liz. i am taking deep breaths and i'm seeing my friends at dinner. i am doing this! the sooner this runs its course the better. i can eat well again. this sick feeling will not persist.

i am just so angry right now. not for much of anything. i just have this force to expel and i'm trying to be responsible about it. i can barely sit in class. my stomach is in knot upon knot and my heartbeat is a maniac and my hands are a mess because I AM SO MAD.

and i can't do anything about it.

let it die and get out of my mind
we don't see eye to eye
or hear ear to ear
don't you wish that we could forget that kiss
and see this for what it is
that we're not in love
the saddest part of a broken heart
isn't the ending so much as the start
it was hard to tell just how i felt
to not recognize myself
i started to fade away
and after all it won't take long to fall in love
now i know what i don't want
i learned that with you
the saddest part of a broken heart
isn't the ending so much as the start
the tragedy starts from the very first spark
losing your mind for the sake of your heart
the saddest part of a broken heart
isn't the ending so much as the start

and that is all of it.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)