You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

currently listening to: "carnival of souls" by verne langdon

so here's the plan: i'm going to spontaneously evacuate at the end of the semester. i'm going to meet with the person in charge of housing. i'm going to arrange to move. i'm not going to tell melody. when i return from winter break i'm going to calmly remove my things. i'll try and arrive first. she'll just come back and find it empty. totally empty except for the fridge. the tv is mine, the rug is mine, the curtains are mine. all the decorations. the fans. if she asks me i'll tell her. we're through.

but i'm going to do it. i'm just going to disappear. i've weighed the options. no matter what i want or what is easy i can't keep doing this because i am miserable. i am depressed. i am not getting work done like i'd like. i hate her. i don't want anything to do with her. i wash my hands of the matter of our friendship, which was terminated now a month ago. i want to make it clear. i want to subtract myself. i'm going to leave completely. she can never access me again. i am closed to her.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)