blake says no one ever really loved him, they just faked it to get money from the government

2:43 p.m. x 2008-11-13

currently listening to: "it's a crime i never told you about the diamonds in your eyes" by the black heart procession

i have been doing nothing but work and ought to be doing work right now. i've got a presentation tonight in forensic, which i'm very confident about but still it would help to prepare. which i have not done at all, because i have been working on my story for fiction, which was due this morning and handed in after being up with gretchen all night, from midnight to five, working continuously and editing in roughly 45-minute spurts. it was amazing, the experience of it. i really enjoy collaborative writing. the material i'm not so sure about.

i have my meeting next thursday at 8 to discuss my progress in the class, what i need to take into consideration regarding my revision (as the revision is the one and only grade, what my grade in the class will be). i hope it's a good, clean meeting. speaking with that professor is always productive and his insight is unfailingly, tremendously helpful but his methods can be counter-productive. the time wasted to get over his disembowling you could be better spent working. he does not keep faith well. you do not remain in his good graces, and as soon as you find yourself there you're liable to be cut down, never to return to his good side. especially if you prove that you can do the work, which i can, which he knows. he is very hard on me, and i can deal with that. i just hope he is civil.

something i need to do is to not edit with scott anymore. scott is in fiction with gretchen and i and he has not a modicum of work ethic, can't seem to retain the professor's constructive criticisms, and has such a terminally limited worldview it is STAGGERING. it doesn't seem as though he gets ideas, exactly. and he seems to despise the act of sitting and writing. i don't know quite how or why scott's made it as far as he has in the program (that is, past intro, which is a pretty thorough spirit-crushing experience designed to weed out people who can't take the pace or the volume of the work). if he does not realize that this does not exactly come easy to him, to put it mildly, by the time we have the second level of workshop, i'm going to have to ask him not to come to me anymore, because he doesn't listen and his lack of a work ethic is completely detrimental to those working around him (if he insists on just sitting there and toiling while you [i] try and get work accomplished).

now: i have dinner, a psych experiment with gretchen, and a prestentation about ted kaczynski and why he is guilty and very criminally responsible, as opposed to insane and lacking the faculties necessary to form intent to kill. then i am going to sleep, immediately.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11