8:17 p.m. x 2009-08-01

currently listening to: "another world" by antony and the johnsons

july went down in a hail of bullets.

mark and i had a wacky miscommunication and i was livid. i thought that he was insinuating something to me that he was not and i got very angry. i called jimmy.

i thought i had said something about that in here but i suppose i didn't. jimmy sent me a message a week ago about how he still had my birthday present and still wanted to give it to me, and he knew i was upset with him and wanted to talk to me and prove he wanted to make it up to me. so he came over and we had a really good conversation. he listened to me talk about mark and did not use the difficulty of his present circumstance to discredit my happiness. it was wonderful.

so i thought i would see if he felt me going to him with a problem about mark was crossing a line. he was distraught and wanted to come see me, and a series of very jimmy-esque maneuverings resulted in him arriving frantic and apologetic at five in the morning. he had some more to explain, then listened to me until he had to go to work. i still didn't sleep because i was so angry/disoriented, so i watched the remainder of "evangelion" and then fell back asleep until seven last night.

mark called me then and clarified - he has no idea how angry i was - that what he meant by what he said was that he needed to sleep, and did not want me to feel as if he wasn't in the mood to talk.

fucking absurd. so i feel very silly. but i do want to talk to him about it because if he ever does feel that way (needing space) i don't want him to txt me about it.

now - i have plans during the week with LEXI at long last. i've alerted akasha we need another meeting. i have to tell amanda they have those buckwheat noodles at karnes. jimmy and i are on positive terms. kara has finally seen "silence of the lambs". i need to make an instructional video for aliya and call amber back.

and mark is at the lake with his extended family, so i won't hear from him tonight. instead i'm making limeaid. i was so pleased to discover limes are 40 cents each!

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)