You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

currently listening to: "end of dying" by foxhole

november all ready, and a week in. ithaca this weekend. this will be the first time i see mark since the end of the summer.

i love the story i'm writing for class. it's due tomorrow, and it's pretty well cleaned up. after this there's revisions but i want to push mine as far as i can today so i can have these last weeks for papers on "prufrock" and potentially rabbit, run. i started portnoy's complaint at the bookstore and am going to buy it next i have the cash. i should be coming into cash soon. i always thought portony's complaint was a real thing. i wonder where i would've heard of it.

as i was combing through philip roth's books (mark hates him) i found he wrote this book i remember hearing about on NPR back in high school, in 2004 - plot against america. i remember the broadcast, sitting with clare in the car on the way to georgetown and her mom talking about how fucking awful she thought robert frost was. maybe. maybe that was all at once. now doing robert frost in class and happening upon this book, not knowing this book was that book, missing clare, mark hating philip roth like clare's mom hates robert frost.

AAAHHHHHHHHH.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)