10:33 p.m. x 2009-12-09

currently listening to: "childproof" by queen adreena

i made a friend recently who, the other day, came up to me in the hallway crying. i sat down with her and she told me her class had watched "the laramie project" and it set her off understandably, but she was more distraught than that. we spoke for a while and i understood something was up to a greater extent than she was letting on. i told her she did not have to tell me what it was but just confirm that it was more than she was saying and i told her i would understand and be there for her and she would not need to explain. but she did tell me, that and what she's reacted to it with - and i see now she's on the verge of psychosis with what she's doing to herself. the stuff she says to me isn't zany anymore. today she was talking to me but with another girl also who was getting obviously alarmed by what she was saying. and i wanted to tell her, please, don't go home for break, go to the hospital and be taken care of - i did tell her that when we spoke initially. she is a tremendous person, and i am letting it trouble my thoughts more than i thought it would - i thought i'd become more objective than that. no. i'm glad i've abandoned the counseling agenda. i could not walk around with this - but i wish that i could help her. i've done what i can. she asked to go home with me and i told her, i've told you what you should do. and that's all i can do. i hope that she makes it because she has what it takes to not let something ruin her but also the skills to shrewdly ruin herself. ugh.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)