everything i do

10:07 a.m. x 2010-03-16

currently listening to: "blue belle" by babes in toyland

exhausted. of. everything.

i found an error nobody else found in the journal i work for, and 100% wrapped up my editing work. tutoring may still be on the horizon, and i'm planning a reading event.

i have two tests in classical: one this week and the final. i have a "final" in form & theory but i will get the questions ahead of time. there is no final in painting. there is no final in criticism. i have to complete my paintings (one more that has not been started, i think, and that's that) and the critical website. my form & theory opus. i need to read the aeniad and metamorphosis. and grendel, and anything i think i'll need to support my paper. that's all that's ahead of me.

i am sweeping materials together for a chapbook! gretchen is going to photograph the cover! my anxiety-fever about grad school broke last night. i was up til five nursing it. all the worry is because i just want to work: i just want to write and make things and stir people to frenzy over what they can do and what they can make. when i'm not doing that i question the validity of my every move. as soon as i'm doing that, i'm more sure of myself than i am of absolutely anything, even when i'm not producing precisely the work i want that second. keeping a diary doesn't do it, writing theory doesn't do it - it's better than nothing, but i have to write. compose verse.

in addition to the chapbook, i have two stories from workshops with perscribed edits that, within days of graduating, i want ready to get out there. i think that is a good beginning.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11