i love you baby and that's why i've been mean

12:11 a.m. x 2010-05-13

currently listening to: "mean" by zoe boekbinder

on graduation:

i had to arrive saturday night in order to get everything in order for the ceremony on sunday. i was assigned a room with gretchen. i was anticipating it being sweltering, but i remembered as soon as i arrived - naturally - how bitterly cold it was last may when i went back for may term. and so it was, and i had nothing with me. no blankets and no pants and two very inadequate dresses. i fell fast asleep upon arriving, which was nice, and spent the rest of the day reading. gretchen went out with her other friends, but i had just heard about getting an interview so i wanted to gloat privately and enjoy my birthday presents (i hate the bar everybody else goes to - there are some lovely bars up there, but that's neither here nor there - gretchen had just given me a bottle of bombay sapphire, so my liquor-ish needs were taken care of). i am almost finished with zizek's plague of fantasies and finished shelley jackson's melancholy of anatomy the other day and can't get over it. i wish i'd bought it ages ago, simply because it's so achingly my thing, but i love that i finally have it with me. forever. so i was reading, and once gretchen came back to go to bed, i decided to do so too.

that was around two, so not an hour later, there was a baBAM outside our door, which we had left unlocked because our other roommate, kelly, did not have her key and was expected back at some late hour. so gretchen, with her strength distorted for the better by many shots, lunged at the door, locked it, and pressed against it while the fleet of at least three assholes continued to smack themselves at the door. when they went away after a good few minutes, gretchen went back to her bed but neither of us got back to sleep for some time because of the sheer calamity. there was so much fucking noise. apparently someone shoved their bed down a stairwell.

at four, the fire alarm went off because a flare had been lit on the floor above us. everyone was herded out in the bitter fucking cold to wait for a fire truck. it took an hour for everything to get sorted out. in the meantime, not only was it so cold i could not feel my feet for three days, and poor gretchen was even closer to naked than i was, but everyone crowded on the lawn was a seething, wasted, loud mess. i got smacked again and again by flailing limbs and was in range of several screamed rants. it was profoundly stupid. once inside, gretchen ripped off her fitted sheet (she had that and a top sheet) and gave it to me. it was a big help. i tucked myself into it but could not go back to sleep, my body was in such shock, not to mention my dignity was in no mood to rest. i did not go back there to subject myself to those fucking people.

i was not in a wonderful mood at the ceremony, but it did go quick.

and now i have a job. i went in to fill out my paperwork today. i didn't ask but i'm reasonably certain i applied for part time work. i did this for a variety of reasons: writing needs to remain my main focus, i'm able to continue to apply for jobs, i can take driving lessons and the GREs and apply to grad school and not be overwhelmed. etc. mostly to write.

AND NOW I CAN BUY BOOKS. i wanted to buy don quixote today with my earnings from graduation, but my mom got it for me as a you're-employed-now! present, which was very nice of her.

in the coming week, i need to go get some organizers. i wanted a desk hutch but i can't find any that act as nothing but shelving, which is what i want. so i'm going to get two nice, tall organizers and set them up at either end of the desk. this is so my printer has room to exist. i need to get that set up so that in the fall, i am not stalking office max in order to print out submissions and applications. plus, right now, i need to print out a picture of gretchen to put in a frame. i have pictures of all my friends framed around my room, it is her turn.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11