You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

currently listening to: "thirty whacks" by the dresden dolls

i am feeling like a friend of mine whom i have loved and who did a world of good by me since we have known each other has dropped me because i am superficially - VERY superficially - not on the same page as him. it is a sick feeling. my humiliation sizzles. i have one short story completed and one three pages from being done right now.

it is weird for me to think that i went about college in a very fiscally responsible manner, working my way completely through community college and requiring only tiny loans to go away for school. i am in no financial distress. but because i couldn't get a job during school, i now must start from nothing and get what i need to get out and move on when many people i know are all ready capable of doing that.

the one in question i'm fuming over in fact took three years to get where he is and was able to do so only by an act of charity. i will get where i want to be on my own terms through my hard work.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)