You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

currently listening to: "the ghost who walks" by karen elson

my supervisor's writing a book about elves.

today was employee appreciation today! i got the talented miss highsmith! i spent all my free time over the spring semester reading that and feeling a great comfort. so she and i are finally together. i also got my first paycheck and finished training! my certification was a crazy success. i am a big hit across the board.

now, i think, although it's late, i might go hang out with amanda! i do not work tomorrow, but this week every day that i work, i open! i'm excited about that. i haven't opened, and i prefer opening to closing. as far as i know. it is wonderful though that my least favorite thing to do at all anyway is sweeping/mopping and we only have a few feet of floorspace that we EVER need to sweep/mop. so even closing is no big deal, because that's the only thing i dread.

I LOVE CHERI. i finished it today and i'm going to read the last of cheri tonight. it's bumped it's way into my top 10 forever. it's precious. i love it. i love it. i love the way colette paints characters and the nagging, bratty side of love.

so i think my favorite books are now ada/lolita (nabokov), sound & the fury/as i lay dying (faulkner), house of incest (nin), cheri (colette), miss macintosh, my darling (young), AVA (maso), great granny webster (blackwood), zombie (oates), berlin stories (isherwood), and necrophilia variations (supervert). or something. this does not include poetry. i love plath's "applicant" as intensely as ada. i find it much harder to qualify a book's impact than a film's. "mulholland drive" and "eyes wide shut" stand so ably above every other film in my eyes. i know what is good and beneficial about any film i enjoy seeing but all books are elusive to me, which is why they merit close study and why i want to write them. i'd like to work in film because i love it so much, but i feel like "mulholland drive" and "eyes wide shut" have hit a kind of ceiling i could only scrape, but there is really no book that makes me feel like that.

i heard "the ghost who walks" in lexi's car and had no idea who it was and did not think to ask but made a note to myself to download it. i forgot about it then was looking up masses of jack white photos on tumblr, missing desire and missing his music. i think he is the most attractive man i've ever laid eyes on. on whom i've ever laid mine eyes. and i realized it's his wife who sings "the ghost who walks." wacky!

i really want to put a dent in akhmatova's collected. i read sylvia plath's one a day. i need to get to anna.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)