11:21 p.m. x 2011-01-26

currently listening to: "her majesty grows suspicious" by umbrella tree

i keep starting entries, getting too busy/flustered and fleeing. i have been driving myself insane. i feel compelled to do this when things are faring radiantly, as if that gives me permission - seth makes me feel so amazing and confident and when i am with him i have the best time so i become fidgety with the rest of my life to rise to that level. i have been doing a good job of persuading it to. MY APPLICATIONS ARE ALL FUCKING FINISHED. LETTERS. TRANSCRIPTS. PORTFOLIOS. ALL BEAUTIFULLY ACHINGLY BRILLIANTLY DONE. IN. EVERYWHERE. i've applied to a few jobs and i've been having interviews! i have another this coming week! it is for a job i didn't apply for (the position i applied for was filled but the company liked my resume) so i must ask about what it pays. one job i applied for is $15 an hour. that is unreal. so beautiful. that would be lovely. i could pay off my debt very swiftly with that.

instead of letting myself get wistful i'm going to force myself to sleep. tonight it was ATROCIOUS out and we closed early, and if it stays as bad i may not go in tomorrow. the car swerved all the way home.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)