i slept through july while you made lines in the heather

1:14 a.m. x 2011-07-11

currently listening to: "lorelai" by fleet foxes

the interview i mentioned made it safely to article-form. i still haven't written a cohesive book review. seth's parents went through more of his late grandfather's belongings (he died a week after seth and i started seeing each other and as long as i've known them they've been slowly working through all of his stuff) and gave me a larger, framed version of his graduation picture. i all ready have a tiny one i framed that lives in my office, but i'll give this one to my parents. they love him. i'm really happy about that.

i had a nerve-shattering friday last week. i had an interview at another agency. it was one of those situations where, as smoothly as it went, i just didn't feel good afterwards. i wanted to be with someone immediately and cry. i'm always like this after meetings. beforehand my mother - who drove me there, even though i knew how to get there on the bus - took me to the farmer's market, and then i sat outside on the first day of clear and perfect weather and i wrote in my notebook and listened to fleet foxes. during the interview, the agent mentioned i should not bring my purse to another interview. this was a completely appropriate remark - it's a messenger bag. it has a small key chain-sized ice bat ugly doll on it. as much as i completely agreed with and appreciated her pointing this out (i don't even remember i'm carrying my bag much of the day - i'm not a native purse-carrier), it still didn't make me feel good. that was not the point - although instead of going home and making myself feel good, i had to get on a bus and go downtown to take a civil service test. beforehand i made sure to get lunch and call my friend amber and cry. then i felt better, and not only did i do deliriously well on the test, i saw seth beforehand (the test was in the building where he works) and the proctor LOVED MY ICE BAT. we high-fived about it. then seth and i had chipotle. then the week happened like this:

this agency originally contacted me about a job i REALLY want. i'd seen the ad for it elsewhere and didn't even bother applying because i was missing one of two vital skills (i definitely have the other). i emailed this agency because of a number of other positions i was interested in. the call i subsequently received from them was about this job i wanted, of which there was no mention in the meeting. the agent brought up some other jobs that sounded very good, though. after i went back to work, she called me on tuesday or wednesday and brought up this job i wanted again, asking for permission to submit my resume. the next day she confirmed that i have an interview - the organization doesn't mind my lack of experience with a particular software program (which i can learn in no time - seth has it and uses it for his job!) and i am FREAKING OUT. i want this position. it is temp to hire, too. it is exactly what i want to do. it's unbelievable. i'm so happy i have this chance.

and, if that wasn't all - friday - this past friday, two days ago, JUST NOW - i received a call from my agent at the agency that has me employed now, for the contract i mentioned was to expire this week. i thought he was going to get irate with me for calling off. instead he told me MY CONTRACT HAS BEEN EXTENDED UNTIL THE END OF THE YEAR. just now. i was to be unemployed on the fifteenth. now even if i don't get this job, i'm not unemployed until after xmas. WHAT.

i'm still really woozy with that news. oh so much.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11