hungry huddled masses

8:02 a.m. x 2004-02-17

i've got this big ugly five-subject notebook that my sister never used (as it seems one is always overprepared for the rigors of highschool @_@ all those trappers i didn't need, i could've funded a third world nation...) and it's brimming with song-ness. lyrics, anyway. i'm on a mission: this year, i will learn, if even vaguely, to write music. it looks like i'm the only one who never actually learned. it's some rare, peculiar learning disability. when my mom heard i was taking guitar she lamented "but you can't read music!". i thought that was weird, before i realized it's common knowledge, or something, amongst everyone else. i know they taught it in elementary school but i didn't learn it.

tabs, though, are jesus. now i can wipe the dust off my little bass and really play it. and by really, i mean i can do the exercises in the book sam gave me @_@;;; but i've played "vivica" before. i'm not as lost a cause as i have been!

random good things

  • i've gotten manda as blitheringly addicted to "america's sweetheart" as i am.
  • i've found a painfully easy way to get my hair to look like i wished it would.
  • counseling today. perhaps an end to blind rage? i hope so. i'm getting sick of this feeling. i don't know how nu-metal bands do this.
  • pottery barn vanity stool (SQUEEEEE)

    random bad things

  • the stupid teenage melodramatic discharge that's been seeping into and souring my mood for the past MONTH.
  • manda's becoming a hermit. i'm plotting a kidnapping here soon, she must leave her house and go havoc-reeking with me.
  • SCHOOL. school sucks. NEWSFLASH...
  • my lack of a "no"-button. if ever i needed my inner-bitch, i need her now DESPERATELY.
  • crowds. what's up with that? that never ever bothered me prior to this year, and it's making me more than a little resentful...it isn't like malls or movie theatres, where there are large crowds circulating about, but concentrated masses, like the cafeteria. tres bizarre.

    hmm - a removable card from "cosmo!girl" that reads 'will you rub SPF on my back?' is the best way to say "i don't like you enough to give you a valentine, but here's a little something on 17 feb to insult your intelligence!". CHRIST i'm so bitter...let's end this, please...

    if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
    pieces of the moon
    JOBJOBJOB
    interviewinterviewinterview
    sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
    (& etc)

  • anybody can be just like me, obviously.
    not too many can be like you, fortunately.
    KL 02-11