the sea is green with RIVALRY

1:50 p.m. x 2004-02-29

all those frustrated ugly thoughts have infiltrated my DREAMS. i can't believe these feelings are bothering me that badly. maybe with health, my body has no other way of absorbing the bad. if it doesn't stricken itself nearly-immobile when things become overwhelming...ugh, i'd hate to think of what my mind has in store for my grounding mechanism now.

>-<;;;

"she is now starting to bother me and it is my own fault. i didn't spawn her and i didn't create her ingenuity...but it is starting to bother me nonetheless that she is making headway on my shtick. simply because my own shtick is suddenly her shtick. it is ugly. i taught her my shtick, month after month, year after year, and voila! what did i expect? my shoes don't seem like my shoes anymore. i look at a dress and wonder what it would look like on her before i buy it. i hate my guitar, i want a different one. she says it's destiny. feels like penance."
courtney love, 1989

"SO I PUT ON MY BEST SUNDAY DRESS
AND I WALTZ INTO THIS MESS
POSING AS A GUEST OR SOMETHING MUCH ELSE
THAN A CRAZY OLD DOLL IN A CRAZY OLD DRESS" -- babes in toyland, "lashes"

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11