they call it indie autism

2:27 p.m. x 2006-01-13

5 PREOCCUPATIONS

1. jt leroy being a ruse. it seems just like something that snowballed for the collaboraters, giving that theory the benefit of the doubt...it doesn't seem constructed to go as far as it did. if the kids had set off on it to be a really foolproof, elaborate practical joke on the media however, that would've been infinitely kick ass. it'd didn't really come to ass kicking, but it's admirable. "wigs & sunglasses" could become a thing one day, an iconoclastic sort of thing, and this could pave the way for like "fantasy celebrity". it's a lot more interesting and imaginitive than the shit that vh1 does.
2. i found mp3s of "art of pretension" and "love becomes a ghost"!
3. half-college is a man wasteland. nobody is attractive. i've got to get out of this area before i go anymore mad with erotic frustration. somehow i feel compelled to add, on the very same number, that i feel bad for jeff conway on "celebrity fit club", though the two points are rather ill-related.
4. "let's not forget that while heath was rogering jake in the puptent, coyotes were slaughtering the sheep. see, kids? sodomy leads to loss of livestock." (fagistan)
5. (a coherent continuation of 3) i don't want to get a crush and be somebody's fangirl. i get sick of that almost as soon as it starts. the boys i get crushes on, i don't tend to pursue them very well because i get so frustrated by the condition of lusting after somebody. it really sucks. i'd like mutual flirtation. i'd like a group effort. and for goodness sake, i do not want either bullshit nor a receding hairline. i want a peer. PLEASE, GOD, A REAL PEER!

alex and i had a comprehensive analysis in the "station dictates behavior"-vein about organ grinders this morning. set the tone for the whole day, which was dreary but glorious. my human sexuality class is thee best.

6. sometimes i think i have a really severe problem that i need to deal with, and other times i think that i'm insane. i tend to teeter back between the two and arrive thusly, about twice in a quarter, that i'm merely having fun with myself, which does not really cover days like these. while it was good, i just...you know i have a really big problem?

but i probably don't. it isn't going to affect you and i don't need to talk about (except to say i'm a little perplexed about it) with anybody who isn't a counselor.

eh, i don't know what i'm talking about anymore.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11