You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

i'm having a problem. luckily, it is a nice, normal, cut & dry problem that can be solved. not some deep-seated crazy "i will need time to deal with this/work this out" shit. but it's still a problem, and it's still bugging the shit out of me.

my roommate and i began corresponding...maybe a month, i'd say, before we met up here. and i told her i need silence. in order to do just about anything, i need silence. no music, no tv and no talking. i know, i'm a horrible person. for the first few days everything was awesome. actually things were really good when my tv was in the room. now that we have her tv, she's been watching it all the time. i cannot do shit with the tv on. i've told her to turn it off when i've had projects to do...but i can't even write my fiction with it on. basically to do anything i enjoy, she'd need to turn it off. but she is determined to never turn it off.

this morning she was playing her electric guitar at nine. fucking hell.

i'm pretty skittish about playing anything - songs or movies - aloud. because if i want to tell her to shut up all the time, i feel bad about bringing that noise to the atmosphere. but jimmy bought me the two-disc edition of "batman begins" and yesterday i HAD to watch at least a few of the extras. she proceeded to turn music on while i was trying to watch them.

that. pissed. me. off.

she even manages to study disruptively by stomping around frustrated, taking guitar breaks, or bemoaning her hatred of whatever subject it is. when she is not doing that and she is not out getting high, she is stumbling around the room high and "MUST" turn the tv on because she's too stoned to do anything and "CAN'T HANDLE SILENCE!" and if this is not the case, she is frustrated and mad and plays the most INCESSENTLY NOISY SHOOTING GAME ON THE TELEVISION THAT IS DIRECTLY BEHIND ME. this is sandwiched between angry/loud/sorrowful phone conversation with her mother, then with friends about her mother, then her father. afer comes the tv until she falls asleep. never ever resting on one program.

always noise.

today i should've been hard at work all day on this personality theory assignment. instead after class i took a long walk to get some sushi, ate a long, relaxing lunch. then i did my laundry and read dorothy parker. then it rained before i could go back out again and NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE.

it's october. in november there will be thanksgiving. we practically will not have class throughout december. then she will be in germany. so i am sort of wont to tell her to can it. but i am thinking it's necessary, since this is the second time i've ranted about it today and i'm even more angry. and it seems to be getting worse. she got high tonight and knocked salt & pepper shakers on the floor. this is unacceptable.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)