1:55 a.m. x 2009-07-22
currently listening to: "ompa til du dør" by kaizers orchestra
i don't know how i ever got to be so unflappably optimistic, or so phobically intolerable of bad attitudes. sometimes i wish i could cut loose and succumb to the gloom of a seemingly fixedly-fucked situation but then i see the good. ultimately i am grateful that i can do that. i can at least get myself through tough spots. i hope i can help other people. i just cried on the phone with amber and i had not, in fact, been crying before she told me what an amazing friend i am to her and what a positive influence i've had on her life and her belief in herself.
i am lucky. i will prosper. i will get out of this.
a year ago right now ken told me he was contemplating getting engaged. a year before that i was in a serious, solid relationship with jimmy and i was about to go away to college for psychology. a year before that i was completely, utterly at the whim of jimmy's moods and getting firmly close to lexi. a year before that i was listening to my chemical romance.
EVERYTHING CHANGES AND SO RAPIDLY. BAD THINGS AND GOOD THINGS. IN NO TIME AT ALL THINGS ARE GOING TO BE BETTTER.
if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start