9:11 p.m. x 2009-08-11
currently listening to: "big spender" by peggy lee
i am glad that the micropress is running at school again this year so i can give the editor an increasingly better impression of me. i feel like i acted so fucked up this past year and i am not that kind of person. it was not what i was expecting in terms of work atmosphere (that is, other people) but now i am excited to prove that it is what i love and that i am dedicated to the work.
i think i will need to get a day planner. luckily micropress man and poetry professor have essentially the exact same class times (which are amidst my own class times), so i am negotiating the same amorphous cloud of free time and not trying to penetrate the web of 7-11 a.m. busy. thursday is a late day, but the micropress ran late in the day all semester. so that should be okay. i would really like to intern on mondays, wednesdays and fridays because my schedule isn't uppity. that will also make tuesday very thereputic and free.
anything, though. i am going to email the poetry professor and let him know my ideal times and that, according to the website, i am allowed to work anywhere under twenty hours a week and that the average recommended hours per week are 8-9. i'm sure he does not have loads and loads for me to do that i would get twenty hour work weeks, unless he wanted me to work every day as opposed to every other like a class. it isn't for credit, after all - it's a paying gig. i will have to figure that all out because if he does not need me allthetimeallthetimeallthetime, i could inquire as to whether or not the library wants anything to do with me, since i could even work very late at night there, but i probably shouldn't do that. as much as i want money i want to do very well this year and i also have the extracurricular commitment to the english society, which i hope gets its shit together this year. since i am an officer i hope i can aid in that but the president doesn't know what she's doing and refuses to relinquish the position since she raised the organization from the dead, which is great but it isn't a priority to her now that it exists. and the professor who taught chaucer is the advisor and he hates me to such inexpressable depths for which i don't blame him at all but i endeavor to stay out of his sacred circle beyond emailing him the minutes after meetings. i don't think i should ever have to talk to him, which - all i want to do is avoid upsetting him.
i will not think about sigma tau delta, though that still stings. it doesn't matter. whatever can't help me doesn't matter. it doesn't need to hurt me.
if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start